The dog food diet

The dog food diet - funny stories

So one day I was at the local pet shop buying a bag of food for my dog, and while I was in the queue a woman behind me asked if I had a dog… (Why else would I be buying dog food? LOL)

I’m the type of guy who loves a bit of banter, and I told her “No, I don’t have a dog, I’m starting my dog food only diet again. I probably shouldn’t because last time I ended up in hospital, I nearly died, I was in intensive care with IV’s in both my arms and tubes coming out of most orifices. BUT I had lost three stone in four weeks!!”

(At this point everyone in the queue was enthralled with my story)

The woman looked horrified; she asked: “Did you end up nearly dying because of the dog food poisoning your body?”
I replied, “No, after a few weeks of just eating dog food, I stepped off a curb to sniff a Cocker Spaniels ass, and a car hit me!”

(The guy behind me starting laughing hysterically, I thought he was going to have a heart attack LOL!)

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